The blog is FINALLY moving to another platform. More freedom, more perks, easier navigation, and it's all happening soon! So, if I'm offline for a little while, you'll know why. I'm not disappearing, I'm just... moving. And moving takes time. I have to unload boxes and boxes of notes and photos, my laptop, my stacks of books, a comfy chair, and my many notebooks. And all during the holidays! I may need to be resuscitated by the time I'm done.
While I'm away, I'd like to recommend an interesting and funny read. Talking as Fast as I Can is this month's book pick for all you Gilmore Girl fans and those just beginning to recognize the talent of Lauren Graham. This his her first work of non-fiction, and follows her novel, Someday, Someday Maybe.
Read it! It's almost better than Friday night dinners!
P.S. You may also like What the Heck Does That Mean?, Delicious!, Old Habits Die Hard, and Worshipping at the Alter of Elizabeth Gilbert.
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
December 1, 2016
November 1, 2016
Can You Write a Novel In a Month?
It's November 1st. And that means, it's National Novel Writing Month! NaNoWriMo began in 1999 to encourage writers to get it on the page. From November 1st until 11:59 on November 30th, your goal is to write a 50,000-word novel.
The beauty behind this approach is that you are given a start date (now), an end date, and encouragement from the many participants who jump right in, as well as Pep Talks from published authors. And that's what you need to do. Jump. Don't think about it. Forget spelling and grammar for just a little while. Simply write your story each and every day.
Think it can't be done? Here are 18 published novels written during NaNoWriMo.
The Beautiful Land by Alan Averill
Alan's novel was started during NaNoWriMo. "I think writers just don’t trust themselves enough to realize that first drafts are often much closer to completion than they know, I’d guess that at least 80% of the first draft is in the final draft."
Wool by Hugh Howey
After writing the novel during NaNoWriMo, Howey originally self-published his novel. It became a New York Times bestseller, was republished by Simon and Schuster, and the film rights were picked up by Ridley Scott. "NaNoWriMo has been the greatest thing to happen to me as a writer."
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Almost 121,000 words in length, this book was written over three seperate NaNoWriMo sessions proving you don't have to do it all in one sitting if you don't want to. Morgenstern tells us to "Take risks" and "Let yourself be surprised."
Like Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Despite a few serious setbacks, Gruen forged on. "We can do this," she promises. "However far behind you are, take comfort in knowing that there is somebody else out there in the same boat, and look for that next fun scene. And then the next. And if that doesn’t work, set someone on fire. In your book, of course."
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
Rowell was already a published author before she tried her hand at NaNoWriMo. In fact, she was a bit skeptical about the process. "It seemd like something that amateur writers would do. Or young writers. People who needed to be tricked into finishing their books. I'd already written two books by October 2011, and sold them to publishers, and I couldn't imagine writing either of them--or anything good--in a month." She went on to say, "Normally I start each writing session by rewriting whatever I wrote in my last session. With Fangirl... I picked up where I left off and kept moving. I never looked back." Good advice indeed!
Cinder, Scarlet and Cress by Marissa Meyer
The first three books in the Luna Chronicles (Cinder, Scarlet, and Cress) all started life as NaNoWriMo novels. Actually, they were all drafted out during a single NaNoWriMo." Yep. You read that correctly. All THREE books were written during ONE November session. So if you're perhaps "both geek and chronic overachiever.", as Meyer has stated, you could have a best-selling series in you!
Persistance of Memory by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
Take the Reins by Jessica Burkhart
Livvie Owen Lived Here by Sarah Doolay
Losing Faith by Denise Jaden
The Compound by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen
The Hungry Season by T. Greenwood
Olivia Bean, Trivia Queen by Donna Gephart
The God Patent by Ransom Stephens
The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
Don't Let Me Go by J.H. Trimble
And like most of the authors will tell you, you need a break from writing every now and then. Whenever a writer isn't writing, she/he is reading. This months book pick is A Jane Austen Education. For all of you Janites out there, here is the perfect companion to your collection. And for all you naysayers, this is the book that will make sense of all those "pretty stories". A must-read either way.
P.S. You may also like Updated Classics, The Anatomy of a Writer, and 10 Things to do in November,
The beauty behind this approach is that you are given a start date (now), an end date, and encouragement from the many participants who jump right in, as well as Pep Talks from published authors. And that's what you need to do. Jump. Don't think about it. Forget spelling and grammar for just a little while. Simply write your story each and every day.
Think it can't be done? Here are 18 published novels written during NaNoWriMo.
The Beautiful Land by Alan Averill
Alan's novel was started during NaNoWriMo. "I think writers just don’t trust themselves enough to realize that first drafts are often much closer to completion than they know, I’d guess that at least 80% of the first draft is in the final draft."
Wool by Hugh Howey
After writing the novel during NaNoWriMo, Howey originally self-published his novel. It became a New York Times bestseller, was republished by Simon and Schuster, and the film rights were picked up by Ridley Scott. "NaNoWriMo has been the greatest thing to happen to me as a writer."
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Almost 121,000 words in length, this book was written over three seperate NaNoWriMo sessions proving you don't have to do it all in one sitting if you don't want to. Morgenstern tells us to "Take risks" and "Let yourself be surprised."
Like Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Despite a few serious setbacks, Gruen forged on. "We can do this," she promises. "However far behind you are, take comfort in knowing that there is somebody else out there in the same boat, and look for that next fun scene. And then the next. And if that doesn’t work, set someone on fire. In your book, of course."
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
Rowell was already a published author before she tried her hand at NaNoWriMo. In fact, she was a bit skeptical about the process. "It seemd like something that amateur writers would do. Or young writers. People who needed to be tricked into finishing their books. I'd already written two books by October 2011, and sold them to publishers, and I couldn't imagine writing either of them--or anything good--in a month." She went on to say, "Normally I start each writing session by rewriting whatever I wrote in my last session. With Fangirl... I picked up where I left off and kept moving. I never looked back." Good advice indeed!
Cinder, Scarlet and Cress by Marissa Meyer
The first three books in the Luna Chronicles (Cinder, Scarlet, and Cress) all started life as NaNoWriMo novels. Actually, they were all drafted out during a single NaNoWriMo." Yep. You read that correctly. All THREE books were written during ONE November session. So if you're perhaps "both geek and chronic overachiever.", as Meyer has stated, you could have a best-selling series in you!
Here are several more...
Persistance of Memory by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes
Take the Reins by Jessica Burkhart
Livvie Owen Lived Here by Sarah Doolay
Losing Faith by Denise Jaden
The Compound by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen
The Hungry Season by T. Greenwood
Olivia Bean, Trivia Queen by Donna Gephart
The God Patent by Ransom Stephens
The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
Don't Let Me Go by J.H. Trimble
P.S. You may also like Updated Classics, The Anatomy of a Writer, and 10 Things to do in November,
October 4, 2016
I Love a Good Read
I can get lost
in a bookstore. When I enter, I feel equal parts excitement and anxiety. I am
giddy with the possibility of what I’ll find, and overwhelmed by those same
possibilities. There are so many books to choose from. And if you like a wide
variety of genres, the choices grow exponentially.
If you love to
read, supporting your habit is a costly endeavor as well, especially if you buy
a new release. And if you’re like me, you’ll have a compulsion to buy both the
hard and soft cover versions you deem exceptional and worthy enough to hold a
place on your bookshelf while simultaneously stashing the other in the car to
read any time you’d like.
Enter the
second-hand bookstore. I've been meaning to read several classics, but not
willing to make the investment buying new copies. Every time I go to visit Amanda in RI, I am smitten by the over-crowded shelves and floors at Allison B.Goodsell Rare Books. I was able to gift a friend one of my favorite books and
chose two titles by Elizabeth Strout for myself. Last weekend, David and I browsed
in town at the Kyes-Sage Bookstore, and The Toadstool, saving a small fortune
while finding a few titles we were looking for in excellent condition. You see,
I’ve become book-buying shy. At one time, I wouldn’t think twice about
purchasing a brand new book I truly wanted. Books are my luxury item, and I would rather
buy them than anything else. But lately, I’ve been disappointed with several “best-sellers”.
A list I usually avoid to a fault. I’ve actually returned a few books over the
last couple of months, knowing my money would be better spent elsewhere.
Now I’m back to
reading authors who have proven to me that no matter what they write, I know
I’m sure to like it much better. (And giving those second-hand bookstores more
of my attention.) Because of this, I’ve added a new feature to the blog. Each
month or so, I will post a book I’m either reading or recommend that you read. But
don’t take my word for it. Research it. Read the description—about the book and
the author—and make up your own mind.
Scroll down to
see this month’s pick on the right of your screen. If you haven’t already read Alice
Hoffman’s book, Practical Magic, please do. If you’re a fan of the movie, fair
warning, it’s very different. But Hoffman’s lyrically written prose should win
you over as she is an incredible storyteller. And since it’s October, continue
this bewitching theme by reading The Lace Reader and The Witch's Daughter. Both,
very good books well worth your time.
P.S. You may also like What Are You Reading? and There Are a Lot of Books!
To find a used bookseller in your area, click here.
And if you find your way over to a Barnes and Noble, you can receive % off your purchase through October 10th using the code BNFRIEND at checkout online, or use this coupon at stores.
To find a used bookseller in your area, click here.
And if you find your way over to a Barnes and Noble, you can receive % off your purchase through October 10th using the code BNFRIEND at checkout online, or use this coupon at stores.
Labels:
books & writing,
words
September 13, 2016
The Anatomy of a Writer
When I write non-fiction, I prepare an outline. I decide what information should be included and in what order. I make a list of things I need to research, then factor in my own knowledge, and begin. I organize everything into chapters and chapter titles. For me, it’s a very distinct process.
When I write
creative non-fiction, I simply pick a subject and write. I write what I know
and make notes of anything I don’t. If research is required, I usually start
this process towards the middle or the end of the piece. It’s important to me
to write down my thoughts and feelings on the subject first, then back it up
(if necessary) with any “facts”. It really depends on how deeply I’m going to cover the
subject, or how intimately I’m attached to the project to decide if research is
even necessary.
Now the biggie:
fiction.
I do not plot.
I do not outline. My stories are character-driven, so a character sketch is the
only thing I draft before I begin the writing process. I make notes about where
and when the story will begin, where it will go, and possibly where it will end
up. But that’s it.
My characters
write the story. I may be the vessel they use, but they decide what’s going to
happen, what they’re going to say, and how they will get in and out of a
situation.
I don’t know
how the story ends (even if I guess) because I don’t know what they’re going to
do until they do it.
All I can tell
you is that it’s like having a movie projector in my head. I can see, hear,
smell, and taste everything that’s happening. I am in the room. I am in that
body. I feel and empathize. I am a man and then I am a woman. I am young. I am
old. I am learning and doing everything my character is learning and doing at
any given time.
That’s my
process. It’s a strange and wondrous thing writing fiction. I didn’t think I
could do it. Until I did.
Is that all
there is? Well, I have a note app on my phone where I keep thoughts, snippets of
dialogue, and ideas. I have a slew of notebooks where I write more of the same,
along with paragraphs and phrases. I use these tools to get started, keep me on
track, and edit.
But regardless of
what I’m writing about, the point is, I’m always writing. Always.
There are no
days off.
Does that mean
that I clock in an 8-hour work day? No. Some days I only write down those
thoughts and ideas. Other days, my butt is firmly planted in front of my
computer where I sit and write for as long as it takes to work out an idea, or
hit a particular work count, or when my brain freezes and my characters or the
story just needs to rest.
When I’m not
writing. I’m thinking about writing.
I had planned
on a full day of editing yesterday, but the words just wouldn’t come. I got up
and decided to work around the house. Physical activity helps my brain focus on
other things and ultimately allows the words to come back to me organically.
And there it
was. The words and ideas I needed for the Epilogue I wasn’t sure I was going to
write.
I tell you all
of this because I wish I had someone tell me these things during the years I spent spinning my wheels and “learning” how to write instead of just writing. Knowledge
is power, but you can only learn so much before you actually have to go to work
and just do it. Put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, and write.
Labels:
books & writing,
the anatomy of a writer,
words
August 9, 2016
Summer Vacation Reading Contest
Eight years ago, I started our annual summer reading contest while on vacation. I won handily that year, but only because my daughters were just 10 and 13 at the time. However, this year, I won again for only the second time! It took me seven years, 3,306 pages, and 10 books to do it, but I did. Again, in all fairness, those 3000+ pages weren't even the most read in the history of our contest. Amanda holds that honor. She read 4,222 pages four years ago. So I take my victory in stride, knowing full well that it will be a long time before it happens again.
So what did we read?
The picture above belongs to Kate and is a sampling of what she devoured in July. She loves fantasy and dystopian novels, and she highly recommends The Dead House from this year's picks. "It's not your usual novel.", she told me, and then proceeded to show me all of the graphics the book included. I won't spoil it for you, just check it out. Her all-time favorites are the Gemma Doyle trilogy, Delirium trilogy, and Before I Fall.
I took along a mix of fiction and non-fiction, but ended up only starting Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It. I'm about half way through, and I've found some of the essays inspiring. A scant 221 pages long, Anne Rivers Siddon's The Girls of August was a quick, delightful read. I had zero expectations, but enjoyed it thoroughly. I only read three books from this list, and I was disappointed in all three. I usually don't read popular books right away—the hype is usually too much—but I waited for one to come out in paperback, and it didn't wow me (or scare me) like I thought it would. I'll leave it at that.
Amanda recommends The Unexpected Everything. She enjoys realistic fiction and cites Jodi Picoult as one of her favorite authors. She fell in love with The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy years ago, and has read it more times than she cares to admit. The last book is her all-time favorite. I finally read it last summer and I agree.
While we were away, we visited several local bookstores, which are really the hidden jewels of the book industry. It's interesting to learn which books are selling better locally, and most of the recommendations you receive from the staff is spot on. To be read: A Man Called Ove and The Last Summer of the Camperdowns.
Both Kate and Michael have copies of The Cursed Child, but neither has read it yet. I'm waiting to hear their reviews before I decide whether or not I'll read it. For me, Harry Potter ended with book 7. We ALL list HP as some of our all-time favorite books.
It's amazing how much you can read when you don't watch television. Yup, no TV on our 4-week vacation. And very little technology all the way around. I snuck off to write on my laptop a few times, and with the release of Pokemon Go, well... the girls did use their phones. But in all fairness, the phones were mostly silent and pocketed away.
I highly recommend taking a technology break and use that time to read!
P.S. You may also like Delicious Reads and Children's Books.
A shout out to our favorite local bookstores while on vacation: Yellow Umbrella Books, The Brewster Bookstore, and Edgartown Books.
So what did we read?
The picture above belongs to Kate and is a sampling of what she devoured in July. She loves fantasy and dystopian novels, and she highly recommends The Dead House from this year's picks. "It's not your usual novel.", she told me, and then proceeded to show me all of the graphics the book included. I won't spoil it for you, just check it out. Her all-time favorites are the Gemma Doyle trilogy, Delirium trilogy, and Before I Fall.
I took along a mix of fiction and non-fiction, but ended up only starting Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It. I'm about half way through, and I've found some of the essays inspiring. A scant 221 pages long, Anne Rivers Siddon's The Girls of August was a quick, delightful read. I had zero expectations, but enjoyed it thoroughly. I only read three books from this list, and I was disappointed in all three. I usually don't read popular books right away—the hype is usually too much—but I waited for one to come out in paperback, and it didn't wow me (or scare me) like I thought it would. I'll leave it at that.
Amanda recommends The Unexpected Everything. She enjoys realistic fiction and cites Jodi Picoult as one of her favorite authors. She fell in love with The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy years ago, and has read it more times than she cares to admit. The last book is her all-time favorite. I finally read it last summer and I agree.
While we were away, we visited several local bookstores, which are really the hidden jewels of the book industry. It's interesting to learn which books are selling better locally, and most of the recommendations you receive from the staff is spot on. To be read: A Man Called Ove and The Last Summer of the Camperdowns.
Both Kate and Michael have copies of The Cursed Child, but neither has read it yet. I'm waiting to hear their reviews before I decide whether or not I'll read it. For me, Harry Potter ended with book 7. We ALL list HP as some of our all-time favorite books.
It's amazing how much you can read when you don't watch television. Yup, no TV on our 4-week vacation. And very little technology all the way around. I snuck off to write on my laptop a few times, and with the release of Pokemon Go, well... the girls did use their phones. But in all fairness, the phones were mostly silent and pocketed away.
I highly recommend taking a technology break and use that time to read!
P.S. You may also like Delicious Reads and Children's Books.
A shout out to our favorite local bookstores while on vacation: Yellow Umbrella Books, The Brewster Bookstore, and Edgartown Books.
June 2, 2016
Updated Classics
If you haven't done so already, please add Eligible to your summer reading list. I love all things Jane Austen, and this version of a modern day Pride and Prejudice will make you fall in love with a whole new Bennet family. (I adored Emma Thompson's screenplay of Sense and Sensibility. See the movie!)
There seems to be a trend among writers who are reinventing the classics (something akin to movie makers looking to books for material) that's grabbing a whole new audience of readers. Maybe it's because the characters are more believable when placed in a contemporary setting, or perhaps we just can't get enough of a good thing.
Look for Ann Tyler's Vinegar Girl (The Taming of the Shrew with an absent-minded professor and responsible teacher in charge of her family's daily affairs.), Gillian's Flynn's Hamlet, Jo Nesbo's Macbeth, and Margaret Atwood's The Tempest. All from a series of Shakespeare remakes from the Penguin Random House Group.
Photo: Princeton Public Library
There seems to be a trend among writers who are reinventing the classics (something akin to movie makers looking to books for material) that's grabbing a whole new audience of readers. Maybe it's because the characters are more believable when placed in a contemporary setting, or perhaps we just can't get enough of a good thing.
Look for Ann Tyler's Vinegar Girl (The Taming of the Shrew with an absent-minded professor and responsible teacher in charge of her family's daily affairs.), Gillian's Flynn's Hamlet, Jo Nesbo's Macbeth, and Margaret Atwood's The Tempest. All from a series of Shakespeare remakes from the Penguin Random House Group.
Photo: Princeton Public Library
Labels:
books & writing,
words
May 13, 2016
Mean Girls
I read a book years ago titled, Queen Bees and Wannabes. In
it, the author talks about the roles girls play, whether they like it or not,
and includes tips for parents on how to help their daughters through the trials
of Girl World. (If you want a quick fix instead, watch the movie Mean Girls.)
Because I am a girl, and I have given birth to two girls, I
can say this without bias: girls are a pain in the ass. The drama that
follows girls around is like a loyal puppy—it never goes away! And it starts
younger and younger these days. We’ve all had to deal with versions of the Mean
Girl throughout our lives. Some of us got through it fairly unscathed, while
others were imprisoned. I can’t imagine dealing with the latter; the stories
I’ve heard from other mothers and their daughters is downright terrifying.
But even with the subtler dealings girls endure: whispers,
snide looks, insults, gossip…these transgressions can instantly rip away the solid
foundation of anyone having to deal with ordinary day to day life, which as we
all know is hard enough. Girls will always have to work harder than boys for
equal pay and recognition. I hope that before I die, this will finally be a
non-issue. This is just one reason we should all be in this together, not
battling it out on the playground. (The war of the “working mom” versus the
“stay at home mom” should have been settled long ago. Personally, I’ve always
thought the term “working mom” was redundant. Every mom works, regardless if
it’s at an office or at home. Period. Please, let’s MOVE ON from this.)
But there’s another sad reality involved: Some things never
change no matter how old you get. Girls grow up to be women. But that doesn’t mean they grow
out of being a Mean Girl. And then they have daughters. Like Bobbsey Twins, mother/daughter mean girls
are leaders of their pack. There are thousands of mini-me’s following in the
footsteps of their first teachers. They’ve learned how to lie, cheat, and beam
their false smiles at the world with absolute pride and prejudice because they
learned how at the foot of the masters.
These women have had decades of experience, and from my personal
experience, cleave onto their daughters because they’re truly the only friends
they have left. Adults usually don’t put up with this nonsense, but that
doesn’t keep it from occurring. Worse still, they usually focus their attention
on the very girls their daughters have already targeted. They’ve transgressed
to their former selves and relish in the same childish antics they should have
left behind long ago. The targets have doubled.
Words, one of my favorite things in the whole world, can do more
damage psychologically than almost anything. The old adage “if you don’t have
anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rings more true today than it
ever has.
Girls are their own worst enemies.
But they don't have to be.
But they don't have to be.
Photo: Michael Dombierer
Labels:
family,
life in my 40s,
motherhood,
words
April 26, 2016
Blogging Isn't as Easy as it Looks
As you may have noticed, I haven't been blogging 5 days a week lately. Simply put, blogging isn't as easy as it looks. And because my blog has evolved from a design blog to a lifestyle blog to a... (I'm still defining what it is), it's become even more complicated. (I'll elaborate more on this soon.)
Regardless of what I have written about, or what I'll write about in the future, is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if you read about food, fashion, motherhood, or the health benefits of eating fruits and vegetables. You may read blogs because of the subject matter, but consider what it takes to produce and create the content you enjoy. Most bloggers don't get paid a thing, which makes the whole concept even more amazing. Spread a little love: share posts, comment (on the site or on social media), email the blogger a quick note. You don't have to do it every time, just once in a while, or just once!
One of my favorite design blogs has captured how a post is brought to life quite brilliantly. Emily Henderson details every step, in text and video, here. (When you're done watching, please come back!) Now mind you, I don't have a crew of helpers, writers, photographers, or staff of any kind. But I also don't produce detailed blog content based strictly on design and the many steps it takes to come up with the final product. In fact, when I started blogging about design, I tended to skip right to the "after" never really showing my readers the "how" unless it was in the text. So that's reason number one why I don't post about design topics very often. It's time consuming. (Reason number two is because I no longer take on design work. A minor hiccup.) But the reason you do still see design and style tips pop up occasionally is simple—design will always be a big part of my life. Just because I don't practice anymore, doesn't mean I don't still dream in color and create.
Regardless of what I have written about, or what I'll write about in the future, is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if you read about food, fashion, motherhood, or the health benefits of eating fruits and vegetables. You may read blogs because of the subject matter, but consider what it takes to produce and create the content you enjoy. Most bloggers don't get paid a thing, which makes the whole concept even more amazing. Spread a little love: share posts, comment (on the site or on social media), email the blogger a quick note. You don't have to do it every time, just once in a while, or just once!
Proceed to the next blog.
P.S. You may also enjoy What the Heck Does That Mean?, You Are What You Read, and It's the Quiet Ones You Have to Look Out For.
Photo: Ben Timney
Labels:
words
April 13, 2016
Delicious Reads: Delicious!
Ruth Reichl is a lover of food and words—a woman after my own heart. As a former undercover restaurant critic for the New York Times, she's penned several memoirs, including Garlic and Sapphires, an often comic look into the world of food snobbery. Her other critically acclaimed memoirs, Tender at the Bone, Comfort Me with Apples, and For You Mom, Finally, have graced the shelves of every foodie worth their salt.
But it's her first work of fiction that brings in all full circle. Delicious! is NYC's most iconic food magazine, and it is here where Billie Breslin finds an extended family as colorful as the vegetables. A story about family ties, secrets revealed, and the perseverance of a young woman finally ready to embrace her own gifts, Delicious! delivers.
If you haven't read this one, add it to your list!
But it's her first work of fiction that brings in all full circle. Delicious! is NYC's most iconic food magazine, and it is here where Billie Breslin finds an extended family as colorful as the vegetables. A story about family ties, secrets revealed, and the perseverance of a young woman finally ready to embrace her own gifts, Delicious! delivers.
If you haven't read this one, add it to your list!
Labels:
books & writing,
delicious reads,
food,
words
April 12, 2016
Life in My 40s
I survived my 20s, plowed through my 30s, and now I’m
surviving mid-life. I’m in the phase of life where it seems as though I no
longer matter; no one is trying to get my attention. Advertisers are targeting
20-somethings—the Millennials—to buy their products, watch their
programs, change the world and do something amazing with their lives. I’m not
eligible for any particular benefits or special treatment. The AARP has to wait
a little longer. I don’t get discounts if I buy a movie ticket and I’m not
ready for the early bird special. I’m in limbo. Not quite young, but not old,
either.
In my 20s, I was blissfully ignorant. I was young, carefree. I didn’t worry about much until I started to have children. But even still, I was much calmer when I had my son than when I had my daughters. I was moody and grumbled about inconsequential things like most people at that age, but did I mention I was young and carefree? I write that sentence and smile. Only because I know that my 20s were not nearly as carefree as I make them sound. I went through a lot during that decade of my life—leaving college and starting college again, getting married, buying and selling a house, having a baby, getting divorced, battling cervical cancer, getting re-married, buying another house, suffering a miscarriage. But I handled it. I got through it and I moved on.
During my 30s, after all of my babies were born and life seemed to settle down, the worrying began in earnest. Little by little, there was simply more to worry about. I started a business that I threw myself into like an episode of Survivor, tribal counsel and all. I worked hard at being a good mom and getting a someday successful business off the ground. One minute, I was at a business conference across the country, the next minute I was attending a school recital. I was juggling like a circus clown and thriving, albeit not always as successfully as I’d like to think. Whoever said a woman can have it all should have been stoned on the spot.
Enter life in my 40s. The worry was in full tilt by this time. I woke and went to bed watching the news. I listened to talk radio in the car pool line and raged. I had one child in college and two children in middle school. My husband’s career was demanding more of his time, while I continued to juggle motherhood and my own career. I stressed about money, grades (that weren’t even mine), my health, everyone’s health, girl drama (thankfully, not my girls), college tuition, relationships, sex, drugs, new immunizations, diseases, terrorists, the safety of my family, perimenopause, and an empty nest. By the time I had hit my mid-40s, I was a mess.
However, if 40 is the new 20, I must be reliving that decade all over again, but this time with my eyes wide open. No more ignorance and no more bliss.
But… And this is a big but, I am no longer afraid. I no longer care what people think, say, or do. I don’t give a whip about consumerism, and a good book is far better than any television program. I no longer watch the news or listen to talk radio. If it’s important enough, I’ll find out what I need to know. I don’t have to feel insecure about making it in the world. I’ve already arrived. Battered, beaten, and wiser. I took control of my body and my mind. I’ve changed careers and chose personal fulfillment over money. My children are all adults, thriving and beginning their own quests, but we’re still thick as thieves. I appreciate everything I have with such enormous gratitude, I will sometimes weep at my good fortune. I have everything I have ever wanted and more.
Am I rich? Not even close. Do I worry about money? Yes, but I have resolved that things will work out as they should, as they’ve always done. The stresses have not gone away, but the way I deal with them has changed. Life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. But mine is sublimely imperfect in all the right places.
Life in my 40s has been challenging, but I’ve decided I like challenges after all.
P.S. You may also like I Survived the First Year of College, It's Been Quite a Week, and Are You a Late Bloomer?.
Photo: Moyan Brenn
In my 20s, I was blissfully ignorant. I was young, carefree. I didn’t worry about much until I started to have children. But even still, I was much calmer when I had my son than when I had my daughters. I was moody and grumbled about inconsequential things like most people at that age, but did I mention I was young and carefree? I write that sentence and smile. Only because I know that my 20s were not nearly as carefree as I make them sound. I went through a lot during that decade of my life—leaving college and starting college again, getting married, buying and selling a house, having a baby, getting divorced, battling cervical cancer, getting re-married, buying another house, suffering a miscarriage. But I handled it. I got through it and I moved on.
During my 30s, after all of my babies were born and life seemed to settle down, the worrying began in earnest. Little by little, there was simply more to worry about. I started a business that I threw myself into like an episode of Survivor, tribal counsel and all. I worked hard at being a good mom and getting a someday successful business off the ground. One minute, I was at a business conference across the country, the next minute I was attending a school recital. I was juggling like a circus clown and thriving, albeit not always as successfully as I’d like to think. Whoever said a woman can have it all should have been stoned on the spot.
Enter life in my 40s. The worry was in full tilt by this time. I woke and went to bed watching the news. I listened to talk radio in the car pool line and raged. I had one child in college and two children in middle school. My husband’s career was demanding more of his time, while I continued to juggle motherhood and my own career. I stressed about money, grades (that weren’t even mine), my health, everyone’s health, girl drama (thankfully, not my girls), college tuition, relationships, sex, drugs, new immunizations, diseases, terrorists, the safety of my family, perimenopause, and an empty nest. By the time I had hit my mid-40s, I was a mess.
However, if 40 is the new 20, I must be reliving that decade all over again, but this time with my eyes wide open. No more ignorance and no more bliss.
But… And this is a big but, I am no longer afraid. I no longer care what people think, say, or do. I don’t give a whip about consumerism, and a good book is far better than any television program. I no longer watch the news or listen to talk radio. If it’s important enough, I’ll find out what I need to know. I don’t have to feel insecure about making it in the world. I’ve already arrived. Battered, beaten, and wiser. I took control of my body and my mind. I’ve changed careers and chose personal fulfillment over money. My children are all adults, thriving and beginning their own quests, but we’re still thick as thieves. I appreciate everything I have with such enormous gratitude, I will sometimes weep at my good fortune. I have everything I have ever wanted and more.
Am I rich? Not even close. Do I worry about money? Yes, but I have resolved that things will work out as they should, as they’ve always done. The stresses have not gone away, but the way I deal with them has changed. Life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. But mine is sublimely imperfect in all the right places.
Life in my 40s has been challenging, but I’ve decided I like challenges after all.
P.S. You may also like I Survived the First Year of College, It's Been Quite a Week, and Are You a Late Bloomer?.
Photo: Moyan Brenn
Labels:
anxiety,
empty nest,
life in my 40s,
well-being,
words
April 5, 2016
Are You a Late Bloomer?
I recently read an article about people who reached their career or personal goals much later in life than they originally planned. It was eye-opening, not to mention inspiring. Especially to a 40-something woman who is grappling with the what's next question of life (me). So if you're starting to feel a bit washed up after the age of 35(!), don't give it another thought.
First of all, 35—the defined age of a late bloomer—is not old, neither is 45 or 55, for that matter. But according to the powers that be, 35 is the age when we're supposed to get our sh*t together. The world is filled with twenty-somethings who seem to have conquered their to-do list in record time. Some of us take a little longer. And some of you may still be trying to figure out what you're going to do when you grow up.
I don't know any 18-year-old who knows exactly what he or she is going to do with the rest of their lives. Hint: you're not supposed to. I tell my girls all the time it doesn't matter if you graduate from college and decide to take a different path. It doesn't matter if you go down one path and then choose another. And it certainly doesn't matter if you decide to do 2 or 3 things. In fact, I encourage it. But, if you're not 18 any more, the same rules apply.
I honestly feel like we shed our skins like a snake. Every 7 years or so, it's time to try something new. Our personal identities don't remain stagnate, why should our professional identity be any different? The problem is we feel we've failed if we haven't met certain goals by a certain age. We question whether we have enough education, experience, or just plain guts to see it through. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid of success.
Let's use me as an example. Because I chose one career (design) over another (writing), I was constantly telling myself it's okay, I'll get to it later. Until later became much later, and then I started to feel too old to try. One excuse after the other kept rolling off my tongue. But the truth is, it's never too late and you're never too old to begin anything.
David told me about an article he read in the newspaper about a 55 year-old woman who published her first novel. Cynthia's book has made my list of spring/summer reads and I just purchased it over the weekend. Many people begin the career or job they've longed to try well into their 40s, and this was just another example.
I was inspired once again.
Did you know?
These authors did not graduate from college: William Faulkner (1949 Nobel prize for literature), Maya Angelou, Truman Capote, Ray Bradbury, Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts...
John Grogan was 48 when he wrote Marley & Me. Sue Monk Kidd didn't start writing until she was 30. Danielle Steel has a degree in fashion design. J.K. Rowling studied French and became a teacher. John Grisham studied accounting, went on to become a lawyer, and wrote A Time to Kill after work. Robert Ludlum studied drama. Janet Evanovich didn't publish her first novel until she was 44.
And still, many tell you don't bother getting an MFA in writing. Just write! (And watch this interview as she has since edited her post. Also, please read her book, Big Magic.)
So pick up that camera. Start baking. Learn a language. Pick up a brush. Find your voice. Stop making excuses. And never, ever let this three-letter word back into your vocabulary.
P.S. You may also like Mistaken Identity, Some Thoughts on Writing, Worshipping at the Alter of Elizabeth Gilbert, and My Take on Writing.
Photo: Moyan Brenn
First of all, 35—the defined age of a late bloomer—is not old, neither is 45 or 55, for that matter. But according to the powers that be, 35 is the age when we're supposed to get our sh*t together. The world is filled with twenty-somethings who seem to have conquered their to-do list in record time. Some of us take a little longer. And some of you may still be trying to figure out what you're going to do when you grow up.
I don't know any 18-year-old who knows exactly what he or she is going to do with the rest of their lives. Hint: you're not supposed to. I tell my girls all the time it doesn't matter if you graduate from college and decide to take a different path. It doesn't matter if you go down one path and then choose another. And it certainly doesn't matter if you decide to do 2 or 3 things. In fact, I encourage it. But, if you're not 18 any more, the same rules apply.
I honestly feel like we shed our skins like a snake. Every 7 years or so, it's time to try something new. Our personal identities don't remain stagnate, why should our professional identity be any different? The problem is we feel we've failed if we haven't met certain goals by a certain age. We question whether we have enough education, experience, or just plain guts to see it through. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid of success.
Let's use me as an example. Because I chose one career (design) over another (writing), I was constantly telling myself it's okay, I'll get to it later. Until later became much later, and then I started to feel too old to try. One excuse after the other kept rolling off my tongue. But the truth is, it's never too late and you're never too old to begin anything.
David told me about an article he read in the newspaper about a 55 year-old woman who published her first novel. Cynthia's book has made my list of spring/summer reads and I just purchased it over the weekend. Many people begin the career or job they've longed to try well into their 40s, and this was just another example.
I was inspired once again.
Did you know?
These authors did not graduate from college: William Faulkner (1949 Nobel prize for literature), Maya Angelou, Truman Capote, Ray Bradbury, Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts...
John Grogan was 48 when he wrote Marley & Me. Sue Monk Kidd didn't start writing until she was 30. Danielle Steel has a degree in fashion design. J.K. Rowling studied French and became a teacher. John Grisham studied accounting, went on to become a lawyer, and wrote A Time to Kill after work. Robert Ludlum studied drama. Janet Evanovich didn't publish her first novel until she was 44.
And still, many tell you don't bother getting an MFA in writing. Just write! (And watch this interview as she has since edited her post. Also, please read her book, Big Magic.)
So pick up that camera. Start baking. Learn a language. Pick up a brush. Find your voice. Stop making excuses. And never, ever let this three-letter word back into your vocabulary.
P.S. You may also like Mistaken Identity, Some Thoughts on Writing, Worshipping at the Alter of Elizabeth Gilbert, and My Take on Writing.
Photo: Moyan Brenn
Labels:
inspired,
life in my 40s,
words
March 31, 2016
2016 Spring/Summer Reading List
The girls and I have already started making our summer vacation reading lists. I'll admit, it's tough to buy a book and know that you can't read it until June, but the anticipation is usually worth the wait. (Yes, we have cheated.)
Here's my list of must-read (mostly) fiction books... some of them aren't even out yet and some you may have already read.
The Nest - First-time author Cynthia Sweeney sinks her teeth into this juicy novel about a dysfunctional family, money, and all of the trappings of the combined. It's getting rave reviews and I'm certainly up for reading about a family more dysfunctional than the ones I know.
The Girl on the Train - Her life is drab and boring. Until she starts to imagine the life of a couple who eat breakfast on their terrace every morning. She starts to dream about what their wonderful life must be like. Until... This one will be read while I grab onto the covers to keep from falling out of my bed.
The Nightingale - Kristin Hannah tackles historical fiction and travels back in time to France in WWII. Two very different sisters face moral questions and life-or-death choices. Packed with suspense.
Here's to Us - It just wouldn't be summer if I weren't reading about the characters of Nantucket. Elin Hilderbrand is the queen of beach reads. A man's three wives, his children, and his best friend all come to the island to say good-bye. Then they must find their own way.
The Girl's Guide to Moving On - I'm not a big Debbie Macomber fan, but this one looks different. A mother and daughter-in-law band together to start over and find happiness once again.
The Light Between Oceans - Honestly, this was a book I meant to read last summer. A couple move to Australian to keep watch over a lighthouse after WWI. As they try to put their lives back together after traumatic events, a boat washes ashore with a baby in it. Find out what they do. (Soon to be a major motion picture.)
Eat, Pray, Love Made Me Do It - Although not written by Elizabeth Gilbert herself, fans of EPL will gobble up this one too. 10 years after EPL was published, this is a collection of 47 essays inspired by her story.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Parts I & II - 19 years later... Every HP fan will be coveting this book regardless that it's written in script form. They play opens in London in July.
Miller's Valley - I read all things Anna. This is a story about love, loss, deception, loyalty, and above all, family.
P.S. You may also like What Are You Reading?, You Are What You Read, and Children's Books.
Here's my list of must-read (mostly) fiction books... some of them aren't even out yet and some you may have already read.
The Nest - First-time author Cynthia Sweeney sinks her teeth into this juicy novel about a dysfunctional family, money, and all of the trappings of the combined. It's getting rave reviews and I'm certainly up for reading about a family more dysfunctional than the ones I know.
The Girl on the Train - Her life is drab and boring. Until she starts to imagine the life of a couple who eat breakfast on their terrace every morning. She starts to dream about what their wonderful life must be like. Until... This one will be read while I grab onto the covers to keep from falling out of my bed.
The Nightingale - Kristin Hannah tackles historical fiction and travels back in time to France in WWII. Two very different sisters face moral questions and life-or-death choices. Packed with suspense.
Here's to Us - It just wouldn't be summer if I weren't reading about the characters of Nantucket. Elin Hilderbrand is the queen of beach reads. A man's three wives, his children, and his best friend all come to the island to say good-bye. Then they must find their own way.
The Girl's Guide to Moving On - I'm not a big Debbie Macomber fan, but this one looks different. A mother and daughter-in-law band together to start over and find happiness once again.
The Light Between Oceans - Honestly, this was a book I meant to read last summer. A couple move to Australian to keep watch over a lighthouse after WWI. As they try to put their lives back together after traumatic events, a boat washes ashore with a baby in it. Find out what they do. (Soon to be a major motion picture.)
Eat, Pray, Love Made Me Do It - Although not written by Elizabeth Gilbert herself, fans of EPL will gobble up this one too. 10 years after EPL was published, this is a collection of 47 essays inspired by her story.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Parts I & II - 19 years later... Every HP fan will be coveting this book regardless that it's written in script form. They play opens in London in July.
Miller's Valley - I read all things Anna. This is a story about love, loss, deception, loyalty, and above all, family.
P.S. You may also like What Are You Reading?, You Are What You Read, and Children's Books.
Labels:
books & writing,
words
March 17, 2016
Book Money (Is There a Better Kind?)
From the time my girls were little, they always called the bookstore, the library. We all had library cards, I took them to story time, we checked out books... but the bookstore was the place they wanted to be.
My son was really into buying books through school. He loved bringing home those leaflets with his picks already circled with magic marker on almost every page. I ended up purchasing most of their childhood collections through these fundraisers. As of 1999, we owned every Berenstain Bear book published to date, as well as Dr. Seuss. I bet I could still read these books from memory today :)
Each week, we went to the library, and each week they tried to get me to go the other library. Once they were avid readers (all around fifth grade), I relented. However, I also taught them that if they wanted to buy a book, they would have to earn it. That's when I started doling out book money.
If they got an A on a report card, they got book money. Birthdays, holidays, special days... more book money. Even more than a decade later, getting a bookstore gift card is the best gift we could give them.
I always thought I would troll the bookshelves of dusty libraries in my old age, but if my children have any say, we'll be at the bookstore.
"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building bookshelves." - Anna Quindlen
Photo: Tumblr.
Labels:
family,
motherhood,
parenting,
words
March 16, 2016
Delicious Reads
If you love to travel, and you love to eat, this is the book for you. I'm kicking off a new series about books dedicated (mostly) to food that will cleanse your palate with fresh words and new ideas.
Where Chefs Eat is the updated printing of its original. 600 of the world's best chefs recommend 3000 restaurants in 70 different countries. Now you'll know exactly where to find the best burger in San Francisco or Paris.
P.S. You may also enjoy These Are Just Two of My Favorite Things, The Luck of the Irish, and Irish Beef Stew.
Where Chefs Eat is the updated printing of its original. 600 of the world's best chefs recommend 3000 restaurants in 70 different countries. Now you'll know exactly where to find the best burger in San Francisco or Paris.
P.S. You may also enjoy These Are Just Two of My Favorite Things, The Luck of the Irish, and Irish Beef Stew.
Labels:
books & writing,
food,
words
March 8, 2016
Writing on the Road
During the month of February, I took a writing class called Write Yourself Alive. For 30 days, participants wrote one or two stories, poems, and/or posts based on the days writing prompts. It was a great way to reignite my love affair with words in a completely different way.
One day, I was stuck in the house due to some bad weather and I couldn't complete one of the day's daily prompts, but today I am.
One day, I was stuck in the house due to some bad weather and I couldn't complete one of the day's daily prompts, but today I am.
DAY 24 - DAILY PROMPT:
Go somewhere completely outside of your normal routine to
write today. Switch it up, try new locations, new music, new people, and new surroundings.
Compare the output of your creativity with that of your usual places. Does that
help? Does it hinder?
I'm on my way to my favorite bookstore about 30 miles from my home and Kate is coming with me. Our plan is to sit in the café while she mostly reads, and I mostly write. I'm curious to find out how the atmosphere will change my process. There will certainly be more distractions, but that's what I was going for. I'll come back and answer the questions tomorrow.
P.S. You may also like What Are You Reading? and Old Habits Die Hard.
Update: I had a great time writing in a (mostly) busy café at my favorite bookstore. It was also nice to have Kate there to bounce ideas off of. I found I could block out the noise and not get too distracted. I will definitely make this part of my weekly writing routine from here on in!
I'm on my way to my favorite bookstore about 30 miles from my home and Kate is coming with me. Our plan is to sit in the café while she mostly reads, and I mostly write. I'm curious to find out how the atmosphere will change my process. There will certainly be more distractions, but that's what I was going for. I'll come back and answer the questions tomorrow.
P.S. You may also like What Are You Reading? and Old Habits Die Hard.
Update: I had a great time writing in a (mostly) busy café at my favorite bookstore. It was also nice to have Kate there to bounce ideas off of. I found I could block out the noise and not get too distracted. I will definitely make this part of my weekly writing routine from here on in!
Labels:
books & writing,
words
March 3, 2016
It's the Quiet Ones You Have to Look Out For
Our family of five consists of three extroverts and two introverts. If David, Michael, and Kate start a conversation, Amanda and I just kind of melt into the background. Actually, we usually leave the room, because the noise is deafening. Don't get me wrong, we can get right in there and hold our own, but we have a threshold. Those three must have a word count they're trying to reach. We like quiet, calm, peace, and we especially need our alone time.
Poor David came home the other night and I think I might have said five words to the poor guy. I was spent. I had been writing all day long having conversations in my head with my characters, I didn't have any more to give. I know he sort of understands, but sometimes I don't even understand. I hadn't talked much at all that day, what was up?
I'm in the process of reading the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. As you open up the cover, she lists her Manifesto for Introverts. It's such validation. Here are my favorites...
Poor David came home the other night and I think I might have said five words to the poor guy. I was spent. I had been writing all day long having conversations in my head with my characters, I didn't have any more to give. I know he sort of understands, but sometimes I don't even understand. I hadn't talked much at all that day, what was up?
I'm in the process of reading the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. As you open up the cover, she lists her Manifesto for Introverts. It's such validation. Here are my favorites...
- There's a word for "people who are in their heads too much": thinkers.
- Sometimes it helps to be a pretend extrovert. There will always be time for quiet later.
- It's OK to cross the street to avoid making small talk.
- "Quiet leadership" is not an oxymoron.
I've been researching the subject for a while now and I've found a lot of interesting information that has really allowed me to finally feel like I'm okay, normal even. Being an introvert was/is seen as a negative, when in fact, it's actually a positive. Everyone wants to be listened to, and that's what we do best.
I mentioned that Amanda and I are indeed introverts, when in fact, I've always thought of us as "extroverted introverts". We do like our quiet, but when when we're passionate about something, you can't shut us up. So we may actually be Ambiverts. This person is generally happy to meet new people but might be still uncomfortable if they weren't with at least one other person they knew. On the other hand, that same person would talk your ear off if a topic of interest was to present itself in the same situation. These are some of the characteristics of an Ambivert. (After watching a movie last week, it was decided that I was definitely Divergent, but David would be Factionless. I'll let you look that one up.)
These illustrations, by artist Maureen Wilson, tap right into the core of what being an introvert is like. Among her doodles is a link to an article that suggests that being an introvert may actually be hardwired. Hmmm. As the daughter of two extroverts, I'm thinking it might have skipped a generation. As I look closely at my family tree, I can see a mix of extroverts, introverts, and ambiverts very clearly. So if it doesn't actually skip a generation, it certainly is selective.
I often ask myself, perhaps because my parents were such extroverts—they were always throwing parties, inviting people over for dinner, going out on the town—I would naturally go the other way. In fact, my sister is the same way. We'd rather spend the night in than face the struggle of going out. I guess we got our fill during our childhood.
So, what do you think you are?
Labels:
anxiety,
well-being,
words
February 11, 2016
Beautiful Words to Fall in Love With...
"I don't want someone to promise me the moon and stars. I want someone who promises to lay on the grass and watch them with me." - unknown
"He brought his mouth to hers and said, 'I am going to kiss you until the only name you will ever taste is mine.'" - N.R. Hart
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. - Pablo Neruda
"I saw that you were perfect then I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more." - Angelita Lim
"Did they see us through the windows,
did they see us from the street?
Did they see me take my hands
and put them on your face,
the slow circles that soothed
the day from your skin,
the tenderness you've earned
and the slow closing of our eyes
when our foreheads pressed together?
We've got the time, and when we don't
we can make it,
I will hold you in ways
you've never been held.
- Tyler Knott Gregson
"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered. " - F. Scott Fitzgerald
"He brought his mouth to hers and said, 'I am going to kiss you until the only name you will ever taste is mine.'" - N.R. Hart
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. - Pablo Neruda
"I saw that you were perfect then I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more." - Angelita Lim
"Did they see us through the windows,
did they see us from the street?
Did they see me take my hands
and put them on your face,
the slow circles that soothed
the day from your skin,
the tenderness you've earned
and the slow closing of our eyes
when our foreheads pressed together?
We've got the time, and when we don't
we can make it,
I will hold you in ways
you've never been held.
- Tyler Knott Gregson
"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered. " - F. Scott Fitzgerald
February 9, 2016
Romance is Alive and Well
When a relationship is new, no matter where you go or what you do feels like the most romantic date ever. I remember when my husband and I first got together. We weren't officially dating, but the flirting had begun. He wanted to buy a leather jacket and needed my opinion. As we crossed the crowded streets to walk uptown, he reached for my hand. The day continued to unfold in a similar fashion. We walked, he grabbed my hand, I let go, and back and forth it went.
My girlfriend and I decided to go out to dinner one night and somehow he invited himself along. After walking what seemed like miles, we got lost just as it was beginning to rain. Finally finding our way to the restaurant, my future husband slid into the booth beside me. As a violinist started playing, we brushed hands under the table, lingering a little longer each time.
Once we were a thing. He decided to surprise me with concert tickets to The Cure. The amphitheater was packed and we weren't under cover as the rain started to come down in sheets. We finally chucked the useless umbrella we were holding and swayed to the music as my mascara ran down my face. It was a great evening.
As the years progressed, our definition of romance went from your typical dinner and a movie to picnics in front of the television after the kids were asleep. They were still fun to us, but things changed as our relationship grew. (I think it's romantic if starts the tea kettle in the morning before I ask.)
But now that the girls have gone off to college, we've started dating again. Afternoon movies, browsing through the bookstore, sharing a coffee in a café, even running errands has taken on a date-like feel. This past weekend, he took me out for ice cream. And we're back to holding hands.
Regardless of how long you've been together, there is plenty of romance left to explore.
My girlfriend and I decided to go out to dinner one night and somehow he invited himself along. After walking what seemed like miles, we got lost just as it was beginning to rain. Finally finding our way to the restaurant, my future husband slid into the booth beside me. As a violinist started playing, we brushed hands under the table, lingering a little longer each time.
Once we were a thing. He decided to surprise me with concert tickets to The Cure. The amphitheater was packed and we weren't under cover as the rain started to come down in sheets. We finally chucked the useless umbrella we were holding and swayed to the music as my mascara ran down my face. It was a great evening.
As the years progressed, our definition of romance went from your typical dinner and a movie to picnics in front of the television after the kids were asleep. They were still fun to us, but things changed as our relationship grew. (I think it's romantic if starts the tea kettle in the morning before I ask.)
But now that the girls have gone off to college, we've started dating again. Afternoon movies, browsing through the bookstore, sharing a coffee in a café, even running errands has taken on a date-like feel. This past weekend, he took me out for ice cream. And we're back to holding hands.
Regardless of how long you've been together, there is plenty of romance left to explore.
Labels:
empty nest,
family,
words
January 26, 2016
A Jar Full of Memories
Do you have a pretty jar at home? Fill it with memories. Write down something you did that made you happy, proud, loved... and place it in the jar. Use scrap paper, tiny note cards, or get creative and make mini paper hearts that you can tuck right in.
You might not have time to write down everything you did in your journal that day, or you may prefer to journal only on occasion, but you can certainly find a minute to write down a simple declaration of love; anything smile-worthy. Just a moment in time captured in a few words.
At the end of each week, take out your notes and read them. Put them back in the jar and keep going. If you prefer, you can read your notes on a special day, each month, or after so many weeks. Once your jar is full, find a new place for your notes, but don't stop filling your jar.
This is a great idea for Valentine's Day, too. Have everyone in the family decorate a jar to leave outside their bedroom door, in their room, or tied around their doorknob. Leave notes and candies in their jar all February long. I made felt heart pockets when my children were little. I think I'm bringing back the tradition this year.
P.S. Don't forget to date your memory :)
Photo: Abdul Rahman
You might not have time to write down everything you did in your journal that day, or you may prefer to journal only on occasion, but you can certainly find a minute to write down a simple declaration of love; anything smile-worthy. Just a moment in time captured in a few words.
At the end of each week, take out your notes and read them. Put them back in the jar and keep going. If you prefer, you can read your notes on a special day, each month, or after so many weeks. Once your jar is full, find a new place for your notes, but don't stop filling your jar.
This is a great idea for Valentine's Day, too. Have everyone in the family decorate a jar to leave outside their bedroom door, in their room, or tied around their doorknob. Leave notes and candies in their jar all February long. I made felt heart pockets when my children were little. I think I'm bringing back the tradition this year.
P.S. Don't forget to date your memory :)
Photo: Abdul Rahman
January 22, 2016
What Are You Reading?
The gift of words is always something I enjoy getting and giving. So it's no surprise that all of us received bundles of books over the holidays.
David enjoys crime novels and history. Kate loves dystopian and fantasy. Amanda is a fan of realistic fiction. Me? I'm good with it all. I have quite a pile of interesting reads on my table, including Anna Karenina (which I've never read), a Michael J. Fox memoir (I admire his courage), Delicious, Why Not Me?, and Quiet.
I promised myself that I would go to bed and read a chapter or two from my favorite series every night. I haven't kept it yet. But I will as soon as I get Amanda safely back to college this weekend. (We're still in our vacation-isn't-over-just-yet bubble.)
As I wandered through the stacks at the bookstore just last night, I was reminded of several books I'd love to re-read and many that I still need to get, including When Breath Becomes Air. There are plenty of amazing reviews about this book so I know it will grace my table soon.
What are you reading?
P.S. You may also like Holiday Gifts for Readers and Worshipping at the Alter of Elizabeth Gilbert.
David enjoys crime novels and history. Kate loves dystopian and fantasy. Amanda is a fan of realistic fiction. Me? I'm good with it all. I have quite a pile of interesting reads on my table, including Anna Karenina (which I've never read), a Michael J. Fox memoir (I admire his courage), Delicious, Why Not Me?, and Quiet.
I promised myself that I would go to bed and read a chapter or two from my favorite series every night. I haven't kept it yet. But I will as soon as I get Amanda safely back to college this weekend. (We're still in our vacation-isn't-over-just-yet bubble.)
As I wandered through the stacks at the bookstore just last night, I was reminded of several books I'd love to re-read and many that I still need to get, including When Breath Becomes Air. There are plenty of amazing reviews about this book so I know it will grace my table soon.
What are you reading?
P.S. You may also like Holiday Gifts for Readers and Worshipping at the Alter of Elizabeth Gilbert.
Labels:
books & writing,
words
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