Forgetfulness Is a State of Mind

This past weekend, as I was unpacking Christmas ornaments, I came upon a gift—a pen set—I had bought Kate more than a year and a half ago. I’m forever putting things away in secret places where I “won’t forget”. I searched the house again and again and could not find it for the life of me. I wondered if I had packed it in a box, threw it away(!), or never ordered it to begin with. I finally gave up and ordered another so she would have it Christmas morning.

But over a year later, there it sat. Tucked in a drawer with other Christmas decorations. Practically in plain sight. Mocking me.

I am forever forgetting where I placed my glasses (they’re often on my head) and who I told the latest family information—daughter number one or daughter number two? I’d wager I repeat myself about 75% of the time. “Mom! You already told me this.” “Right, right. I need to tell your sister.” All perfectly normal, I’m told repeatedly by friends and family who have gone through the same bouts of forgetfulness. All perfectly normal, I’m told repeatedly by my doctor. After all, I’m of “that age”.

I pride myself in keeping my brain sharp. I read and write and want to know things. I can recite 70s song lyrics on a dime. Remember the exact measurements of a recipe I haven’t cooked in a while. Recall childhood memories that are more than four decades old. But sometimes, David will ask me if I remember something, and I’m at a complete loss.

I know this is all a trick. Some twisted karmic game someone is playing just to keep me on my toes.

I don’t think it’s very funny. Well, sometimes I do. Thankfully I can laugh at myself as I look in the mirror—my face a bit droopier, the crow’s feet more pronounced—and I laugh at the person in the mirror. “Still got my sense of humor.” Joy.

So, the next time I wander into a room and then stand there wondering why on earth I’ve gone into the room in the first place, or try to give a name to the doohickey I’m holding in my hand, I’ll remember this: 1) The second half of my life is supposed to be better than the first half. I’ll keep you posted. 2) I know more stuff, of course my floppy disk is full. (Oops, hard drive.) 3) I don’t have to remember everything. That’s what Google is for. 4) I can use cheat sheets—i.e. the notes app on my phone. 5) I’ll relish in selective memory by tossing out all the bad stuff. 6) And I’ll keep reading, writing, and learning as long as the information will stick.

That's all I can remember for now.

 P.S. You may also like Life in My 40s, Hormones!, and I'm Not Ready.

I'm Not a Fan of Daylight Savings Time

I should be happy that we gained an hour of time this past weekend, but what I really am is exhausted. And every year, it's the same thing. 

It was bad enough that I was already starting to settle on my couch by 7:00, the yawning already starting at 6:00. But now I'll have to forgo my late afternoon walks unless I wear a headlamp, not to mention getting in line in time for the early bird special. 

Are we really decreasing energy use, saving lives, or reducing crime rates? The jury is still out. There are naysayers and supporters on both sides. There's even a petition in congress titled, "Please stop messing with our schedules". 

I concur.

The US adopted DST during World War I to save fuel, not to give farmers an extra hour of daylight as most of us were taught back in the olden days. Now the reason it will never go away is that it's simply good for business. When the clocks spring forward, retailers benefit from that extra hour. And that, as they say, is that. Fine. But why can't we ignore the whole fall back cycle? I don't think anyone would argue that getting a little extra sleep in the morning because the suns not up yet is a good thing. 

So thank you Big Business for waking me at 4:00, all bleary-eyed and not quite so ready for my day. And we all can thank them for our sour moods, tired bodies, messed up schedules and sleep patterns. Take heart. I've read it will work itself out in the next two weeks as our bodies adjust. Until then (and until we spring forward once again), it's extremely important that we still get outside whenever we can and find the sun. Keep your regular sleep schedule. Drive safely. Turn on all the lights in the house. And most importantly, stay active. 

And it never hurts to keep your sense of humor. (And check out these pins.)

P.S. You may also like Hormones!, It's the Quiet Ones You Have to Look Out For, and Stress and Anxiety Triggers.  

Photo by Timo Newton-Syms

Life Lessons in My 40s

Victor Hugo called 40 “the old age of youth”. Conventional wisdom tells you that you’re still reasonably young, just a bit more seasoned than you used to be. As you transition into your 40s, you’re moving into the second act—and there are no more dress rehearsals. To me, once you’ve reached your 40s, it means freedom!

During this decade, you realize you’ve actually managed to learn and grow a bit, often without knowing it. And even though some of the things I’ve learned will no doubt seem rather laughable when I hit my 50s, I’ll take what I can get.

I am at an age where I finally worry less (could care less) about what people think and feel. Not that I’m callous about other people’s feelings, just the opposite, actually—I feel more deeply. But I’m confident in my own convictions. I am clear about other people’s motives. I’m no longer afraid to try and fail, or let others try to strike me down (or worse, revel in kicking me while I’m down), I just get back up again. I am content, carefree, and in control.

And I don’t feel the need to be someone I’m not. This quote says it all: “More about you is universal than not universal. My unscientific assessment is that we are 95 percent cohort, 5 percent unique. Knowing this is a bit of a disappointment, and a bit of a relief.” (Writer, Pamela Drucker.)

By your 40s, you don’t want to be with the cool people; you want to be with your people. High school was so long ago. You learn who the important people are in your life. And for me, it’s family. They will always be the ones I want to hang out with. The ones who get me.

I’ve realized that no matter what happens, it’s not the end of the world. It’s taken me a very long time to embrace this notion, but it’s true. Life is messy. And I’m so over trying to make everything not so messy. I now want to take risks, let the chips fall where they may, jump before I look, and embrace every precious moment.

As they say, with age comes wisdom. Here's what I believe I've learned so far. 

• Listen to your body. It’s wiser than you know. I’ve taken care of myself two times in my life: when I was pregnant and once the children were almost grown. I wished I had listened more closely in between those times.
• The time is now. Regret nothing. If you have a hidden talent, or you’ve purposely held back who you truly are, you must come clean. Say it out loud, write it down, own it. Being a Late Bloomer does not mean you have missed the boat.
• Learn from everything. And don’t rush the process of moving through obstacles. You’ll get where you need to, in time. Trust in this. I know it's hard.
• Breathe. Live in the moment as this is all we have. This is a lesson I still need help with from time to time, but I am more conscience of it.
• There is no free lunch. Be prepared to work your ass off to achieve any type of success. And remember, success is a relative term.
• I have thankfully always known that family comes first. I will never regret the time I’ve spent with my children, but I can tell you exactly what I’ve missed when I wasn’t with them.
• Give. Whatever and however you can. No judgements. No rules.
• I’ve never been a big fan of change, but change has pushed me through many doors I thought I’d never open.
• Haters gonna hate. Their words can hurt us, haunt us, and play with our insecurities. They make us question, doubt, and perhaps quit. That’s their intent. Do not let it stop you from trusting your instincts and following your heart. 

And finally: Laugh more and complain less. Laugh lines never looked more beautiful. 

P.S. You may also like Life in My 40s, Vanity Isn't Just Another Piece of Furniture, and I'm Not Ready.

Morning Rituals

I was never a morning person, until I was. If you think you may be turning into a morning person, too, here are some ways to make the best of it. 

As I've gotten older, my internal clock has been reset. I find myself waking long before the alarm clock, even when I wish I could get in a few extra winks. Now that I know what I know, I actually prefer it. The house is quiet and I'm able to get a lot done before everyone else in the house is awake. In fact, the start to a great day is to wake earlier than you need to. The peace and quiet you experience just before the sun has risen gives you the opportunity to just be. 

There is no caffeine involved in my morning routine. I drink water, and if I'm lucky, a glass of lemon water to help detox my system and rehydrate my body. I really feel the key to healthy living is drinking lots of water. Give it a week and see how much better you feel. 

Then it's time for a stretch. Stretching your body wakes up your muscles. You don't have to do anything overstimulating, just a few easy yoga poses or simply raise your arms over your head, arch your back, and gracefully swoop down to the floor for a few minutes each day. If you're so inclined, you can start a morning exercise routine as well. Not only will this wake you up, you can check it off your list. I start to wind down sometime around 4:00, so it's imperative that I get exercise in before noon on most days and before the excuses begin. 

Listen to music or read. This is your time to do whatever makes your soul sing. Choose carefully. Some days you might want something light and relaxing, while other days you'll want to find something more upbeat and inspiring to jumpstart the day.

I need to eat breakfast. You need to eat breakfast. It really is the most important meal of the day. I suggest something with protein and lots of vitamins. Low-fat yogurt and a banana always works for me, but I also need a few carbs. Remember, you're fueling your body after a long fast.

Before you begin the rest of your day, take a few moments and close your eyes. Sit, relax, even meditate if you so choose. 

Now I plan. Out comes the list. Decide what you want to accomplish that day and do it. If your to-do list is anything like mine, you'll want to break it down into manageable chunks. Choose three things that can get done, and do them. Cross off three more things the next day and so on. We can all manage three.

Whether you're headed for work, or it's a Saturday and you have nothing better to do, this new morning routine will make you feel better. Introducing healthy habits, even in the smallest of ways, leads to a happier (healthier) you. 

P. S. You may also like Hormones!, Emotional Release, and Stress and Anxiety Triggers.

Vanity Isn't Just Another Piece of Furniture

I went to high school in the 80s. Permed hair, lots of make-up, and going to school in a well-chosen (i.e., trendy) outfit was a given. I got up at 5:00 am to shower, blow/kink/style my hair, put on my face, and eat breakfast before I caught the school bus at 6:30. I brought my precious bottle of Indian Earth with me to school and religiously reapplied it throughout the day. Now that’s what I call commitment.

Twenty-odd years later—not so much.

Of course, if I sleep until 5:00 am, I’m eternally grateful these days. So, there’s that. And I usually shower at night, so there is no unnecessary hair styling in the morning. I stopped perming and gave in to my stick-straight locks long ago. Since I work mostly from home, as long as I’m clean, dressed, and partially groomed—using 80s excess as my yardstick—I’m good to go.

However, a funny thing happens when you get older. You care more, and less, about how you look.

I used to dye my hair—for fun. Now I dye it to hide the gray. I never over-plucked my eyebrows, never “shaped” them, or thinned them to excess (thank God), but now I’m reaching for eyebrow gel. My eyebrows have thinned and lightened over the years, and I prefer the way they used to look, so I’ve added it to my leaving-the-house look. And lipstick. In all these years, I’ve never left the house without lipstick.  

I became enamored with lipstick when I used to watch my grandmother put it on. Every day, she would reach for a gold cylinder and carefully apply a peachy, pink hue—the tip of it perfectly shaped to her mouth. My mother never wore lipstick. But like wine and a good stiff cocktail, lipstick was just another one of life’s little luxuries I would someday covet thanks to my grandmother.  

In my 20s, I was still rocking the trends to some extent—I found “my look”, my signature scent, and had an unusual affinity for anything red. And what can you really say about a 20-something face. You’d kill for it today.

By the time I was in my late 30s, I felt free enough to leave behind the fully made-up face. My skin was still youthful enough, but it could now breathe. And the hair. Again, in its now deflated state, a quick blow-out was all I needed.

Enter my early 40s. Grooming rituals had become a thing of the past. Stretchy pants and comfortable shoes were all I wanted. Well, that and comfy PJs, too. It just wasn’t a good time for me, so it reflected in my face, literally. I didn’t care. And it showed.

When I reached my mid-40s, things started to shift. I got healthy. I bought clothes again. At good stores. I found a talented stylist and got my hair done. I started dressing more youthfully, but tastefully. I even broke out a few classics from my 20s that fit once again. I was back.

Today, I care less about how I look and more about how I feel. Because, let’s face it, if you feel good, you look good. I don’t give a fig about fashion trends, and I feel more comfortable in my body, even when I complain about it. I’ve earned every wrinkle and gray hair. Only now, I put in more effort to look like the best version of me I can pull together.

P.S. A partial selfie—I went with blonde streaks this past summer. You may also like Hormones, Life in My 40s, and Are You a Late Bloomer.

Hormones!

This not being old, sort of being old thing is so much fun. I’m too old to have a baby (socially, mentally), but I’m too young to be free from worrying about pregnancy. My body (and my mind) is in flux. I’m traveling through a wonderfully, glorious time in my life dubbed, perimenopause.

When we reach our early or pre-teens, we’re plagued with a monthly siege of pain and discomfort that ushers us into womanhood. We experience raging hormones and PMS—Pissed at Men Syndrome for some, Premenstrual Syndrome to others. Then, for the next 35-odd years (and roughly 455 periods), we spend that time either trying to, or trying not to get pregnant.

When you’re done making that decision, and life rolls merrily along, your body kind of reverses itself. And Bam! Hormones! Again! Only this time, they’re not the oh-that-boy-is-so-cute-I-can’t-stand-it kind, but something entirely different.

Visits to my doctor now include talks about my cycle. Am I tired, moody, anxious, sleeping well? Am I experiencing night sweats, vaginal dryness, or a low libido? Now let’s hop on that scale. Shall we?

Perimenopause can last between 5 and 10 years as the estrogen in your body makes its slow exit. Going to bed at 9:00 and waking at 4:00 becomes normal. Your monthly “friend” isn’t as friendly as she once was because you never know if she’s coming, how long she’ll stay, or what kind of mood she’ll be in. You’re hot, then cold, then hot again. And… well, I’ll spare you any further details. When I first read the book Our Bodies, Ourselves, I think they glossed over this part.

But the best part, the ultimate kick in the pants, is that your brain becomes foggier than any coastal town. We’re all doing too much, and it’s normal to be forgetful, but this is different. Where did I put my glasses? Did I just say something? Why did I come in here? These are normal, everyday occurrences that frustrate me to no end.

This is the reward we get for YEARS of wearing a sweatshirt around your middle because of an accident, of running off to the nurse’s office during school because you think you’re dying, of buying several sets of clothes throughout your life to fit over a bulging middle (pregnant or not), and of keeping companies who manufacture the products we desperately need each and every month in champagne and caviar. Forget gold. Invest in feminine products!

I’m told that once I reach my mid-fifties, things will be good again. Those nasty little hormones apparently fade into the background, sated and giggling the whole time.

P.S. You may also like Life in My 40s and Stress and Anxiety Triggers.

Setting Realistic Goals

For more than a year, I got down on the floor every morning and did yoga. I loved it. My body loved it. But like so many other things in life, it got pushed aside. Time moved on and before I knew it, I had stopped doing it. Of all of the exercises I have tried, loved, and hated, yoga was one I enjoyed immensely. 

While I was away, I managed to slip in a class on the beach. It's heavenly, and if you ever get a chance to take one of these classes, do! The sand is a perfect platform for yoga—you can dig your feet or heals in the sand and it contours perfectly to your body. My goal was to attend one class a week. I only made it to one. I thought it was a realistic goal; I could manage one class a week. But it wasn't meant to be. 

I have beaten myself up for not keeping the same rigorous exercise schedule I had stubbornly adhered to (for more than two years!) more times than I can count. I had worked my body so hard, I injured my hip. Then when I was "recuperating" (read: not getting off the couch), I injured my rotator cuff shoveling snow because I had been too inactive. I had to go through another period of recovery. And on and on it went. 

The bottom line is, we all get busy, injured, tired, and we may not make it to the gym as many times as we'd like. We may slack off, take a break, eat more than we move, and make excuses. 

But the body is resilient. You can get back to a routine—albeit a bit slower this time around—because muscle memory is alive and well in your brain. It remembers what it feels like after your body has gone through a workout. That feeling of accomplishment and euphoria you get as endorphins pump through your system. Then all of a sudden, you remember that the gain far outweighs the pain. 

I may still be shy of my goals, but I've given myself the time to reach them. As my body ages, it doesn't bounce back quite the same way, but that's okay. I try not to make excuses, I try to take it one day at a time, setting realistic goals that don't drive me crazy. 

P.S. You may also like The Benefits of Lemon Water, Emotional Release, and these Good Health pins.

Good-bye... For Now

Summer vacation has begun! Thank you all for hanging in there. I will be up to my usual tricks towards the end of the summer. I'm looking forward to writing more about Life in My 40s and getting back to a regular blogging schedule when I return in August. 

Much progress as been made on my new project, and with any luck, the blog will be moved and I can tell you more about it when I return. 

In the meantime, I hope you have a glorious summer!

P.S. You may also like...

May Summer Last a Hundred Years

2016 Summer Reading List

Scenes From Around New England (a.k.a. where I'll be hanging out)

Chatham

10 Things to do in July

Home

Wherever the Wind May Blow

I have been blogging regularly for the past three years. I enjoy sharing ideas and stories, and as I wrote in my bio, this is my place to remember and reflect. But I haven’t been happy with my blog platform for a long time now. As with all money decisions, I had to weigh the pros and cons of investing in a new one. Every time I did some research I was quoted outrageous prices, some as much as $10,000. Instead, I used my money to update its look, just a little, then a little more. I ran into a few mishaps along the way, namely a very unprofessional “web designer” who never fulfilled her promise. I had to change companies mid-stream and thankfully found a firm that could work with me and my budget. The money I wasted could have been used to make the switch. I moved on. I could at least update my writing.

Since I began blogging, I have switched things up a bit. What was once a design blog morphed into a lifestyle blog, and then, in my opinion, something a bit more than the usual lifestyle blog. As I started to focus on one aspect of my career (while the others started to fade into the background) I wanted the blog to follow along. I got excited about writing more in-depth and personal posts about motherhood, family, and various series about writing and the stages of the empty nest, to name just two. I have always been inspired by Anna Quindlen so I just recently starting writing a new series titled Life in My 40s. I realized that several of my posts fit under this umbrella, since....I've been writing these posts while in my 40s. I prefer the direction the blog is headed.

I’ve played around with topics, scheduling, and formatting until I found something I felt would be a good fit for all of my readers, and for me as well. But the blog also did something else. It filled a void. It allowed me to escape into the world of words I had missed so dearly.

But I am at a crossroads.

I’ve decided to take a small step back from my blog to work on a project I have wanted to finish for years. I have always been the kind of person who takes care of everyone else’s needs before my own: my children, family, work, and you, my readers. But I need to do this one thing just for me.

For now, I’m going to blog weekly when my schedule allows. I’m not going to worry about adhering to a strict schedule; it will simply happen organically, like when I first began. I will continue writing series and niche posts I hope will satisfy us both. I may want to bring in new writers to help fill the gaps, or I may decide not to. I’m not quite sure just yet. My goal is to still switch platforms, but this won’t happen until late spring (at the earliest) and soon after that, I’ll be heading off to my home away from home in June. Changes are occurring and I’m going wherever the wind may blow.

By next fall, I should be back in the swing of things. Or maybe I’ll try the slide instead. Either way, this blog isn’t disappearing, it’s just evolving as each and every one of us is doing each and every day.

I hope you’ll come along for the ride. Thank you for your continued support and thank you for reading.

Photo: Three Rivers Deep

The Freshman Fifteen

A rite of passage? I certainly hope not. Although there are many rites of passage you may accomplish as you enter college, like turning eighteen, registering to vote..., we (girls) always hear about the dreaded Freshman Fifteen. Another thing to add to the packing list: sheets, books, pillows, clothes, laundry detergent, pens, notebooks. Fifteen extra pounds doled out in ones, fives, and tens. Check.

Let’s face it, dining hall food isn’t the healthiest food available. Consisting mostly of pasta, pizza, a cacophony of carbohydrates, and other foods posing as “healthy choices”, dining hall selections are slim at best. But although Amanda (my youngest daughter and first year college student) lives right next door to the newest dining hall on campus, complete with its own soft-serve ice cream machine (her weakness), she hasn’t gained any weight. But I have.

After a fairly smooth transition, I actually thought things were going to be just fine. She was going to be just fine. I was going to be just fine, more accurately. Until we were all faced with a hellish fall. My father became ill and trips back and forth to Boston increased exponentially. With Kate living just around the corner from the hospital, at least I had a place to crash. My mother’s health, always a source of worry, was to be challenged even further. Amidst all of this, my beloved husky got ill and passed away just before Christmas. A tragedy I still can’t comprehend, never mind write about.  Things weren’t so fine then.

I turned to food to get me through. Food has always been a source of comfort for me. So much so that the pounds started piling on year after year after year. I became exceedingly overweight and completely unhappy as a result. Until I finally wised up.

After my Year of Better Health commenced. I had kept the sizable amount of weight I had lost off for two years. Things started to fluctuate a bit the winter before last, but I was back on schedule the following spring. Now I know for a fact that in order to lose weight successfully, and keep it off, you have to work your ass off. Literally. Making good food choices and exercising regularly/vigorously/daily is a must. There are no shortcuts. And my body won’t have it any other way. I can eat healthy, but if I’m not exercising, it doesn’t matter. I can exercise, but if I’m not eating healthy, it doesn’t matter.

So I find myself in a place I never thought I’d be again and I’m angry at myself for allowing it, for not taking better care of me. Enter more food. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle as many of you may know. We eat our feelings to suppress anger, resentment, doubt, insecurity, shame, failure. Round them all up and let them get in line. Whatever your beef, you want it with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy.

So what did I do? I wallowed for a while, which only compounded the problem. A long while. And then I made a decision: I stopped wallowing. I could accept the extra weight and be happy with myself, albeit still trying to live a healthier life, or I could get back on the horse, as the saying goes, and start again. So that’s what I did.

I’m back on my bike. I’ve hit the floor. I’ve stopped over-indulging. I’m back to square… three. Because I have to start somewhere and here is much better than where I began.

P.S. You may also like Emotional Release and Stress and Anxiety Triggers.

Photo: Fit Approach

Life in My 40s

I survived my 20s, plowed through my 30s, and now I’m surviving mid-life. I’m in the phase of life where it seems as though I no longer matter; no one is trying to get my attention. Advertisers are targeting 20-somethings—the Millennials—to buy their products, watch their programs, change the world and do something amazing with their lives. I’m not eligible for any particular benefits or special treatment. The AARP has to wait a little longer. I don’t get discounts if I buy a movie ticket and I’m not ready for the early bird special. I’m in limbo. Not quite young, but not old, either.

In my 20s, I was blissfully ignorant. I was young, carefree. I didn’t worry about much until I started to have children. But even still, I was much calmer when I had my son than when I had my daughters. I was moody and grumbled about inconsequential things like most people at that age, but did I mention I was young and carefree? I write that sentence and smile. Only because I know that my 20s were not nearly as carefree as I make them sound. I went through a lot during that decade of my life—leaving college and starting college again, getting married, buying and selling a house, having a baby, getting divorced, battling cervical cancer, getting re-married, buying another house, suffering a miscarriage. But I handled it. I got through it and I moved on.

During my 30s, after all of my babies were born and life seemed to settle down, the worrying began in earnest. Little by little, there was simply more to worry about. I started a business that I threw myself into like an episode of Survivor, tribal counsel and all. I worked hard at being a good mom and getting a someday successful business off the ground. One minute, I was at a business conference across the country, the next minute I was attending a school recital. I was juggling like a circus clown and thriving, albeit not always as successfully as I’d like to think. Whoever said a woman can have it all should have been stoned on the spot.

Enter life in my 40s. The worry was in full tilt by this time. I woke and went to bed watching the news. I listened to talk radio in the car pool line and raged. I had one child in college and two children in middle school. My husband’s career was demanding more of his time, while I continued to juggle motherhood and my own career. I stressed about money, grades (that weren’t even mine), my health, everyone’s health, girl drama (thankfully, not my girls), college tuition, relationships, sex, drugs, new immunizations, diseases, terrorists, the safety of my family, perimenopause, and an empty nest. By the time I had hit my mid-40s, I was a mess.

However, if 40 is the new 20, I must be reliving that decade all over again, but this time with my eyes wide open. No more ignorance and no more bliss.

But… And this is a big but, I am no longer afraid. I no longer care what people think, say, or do. I don’t give a whip about consumerism, and a good book is far better than any television program. I no longer watch the news or listen to talk radio. If it’s important enough, I’ll find out what I need to know. I don’t have to feel insecure about making it in the world. I’ve already arrived. Battered, beaten, and wiser. I took control of my body and my mind. I’ve changed careers and chose personal fulfillment over money. My children are all adults, thriving and beginning their own quests, but we’re still thick as thieves. I appreciate everything I have with such enormous gratitude, I will sometimes weep at my good fortune. I have everything I have ever wanted and more.

Am I rich? Not even close. Do I worry about money? Yes, but I have resolved that things will work out as they should, as they’ve always done. The stresses have not gone away, but the way I deal with them has changed. Life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. But mine is sublimely imperfect in all the right places.

Life in my 40s has been challenging, but I’ve decided I like challenges after all.

P.S. You may also like I Survived the First Year of College,  It's Been Quite a Week, and Are You a Late Bloomer?.

Photo: Moyan Brenn

How Organized are You?

Are you a list-maker or do scraps of paper litter your desk? Do you rely on your smartphone to keep you organized? A program perhaps?

I am almost all of the above. Which means, I'm not as organized as I could be. I'm definitely a notebook-pen-paper type of girl, but I finally ditched the wall calendar and let my iPhone do the talking.

That's when I found this: My Bullet Journal from the blog, A Daily Dose. Not only does Kara walk you through her system, she shares it like the secrets to her decoder ring - video and all. And then of course, if you're seduced (like I am) just by the look of the one notebook, pen, or other instrument that will finally be the answer to all of your organizational prayers, then you'll want to have a look see at these beauties.

Last question: Checker-offer? Scribbler? Or crosser-outer?

P.S. You may also like Weekend Challenge, Clear Out the Clutter, and Cleaning is My Therapy.

Photo: Dinuraj

8 Delicious Spring Vegetables (and Recipes!)

I can't wait for farmers' markets to open... fresh fruits and vegetables feel like such a treat after a long winter. And although I do love fresh fruits (especially berries) I'm more of a vegetable person. I think it kind of goes along with me preferring savory to sweet. Well, most of the time.

Just the other day, Kate was talking to me about the health benefits of certain foods. I'm still learning what foods will provide me with enough nutrients for healthy living. Then I thought of all of the spring vegetables that are slowing creeping into the markets.

Here's a run-down on why They're good for you, then I'll get to the recipes.

Artichoke: Provides fiber, potassium, calcium, iron, phosphorus and other essential minerals. Helps with liver health, arteriosclerosis, gout, migraine headaches, improves digestion, and lowers blood sugar.

Asparagus: Provides (114%) of vitamin K, folate. Helps with bone health and cardiovascular system.

Avocado: Provides good fat (oleic acid) folate, carotenoids, beta-carotene, and lutein. Contains free-radicals and helps with oral cancer.

Fennel: Provides a blend of phytonutrients such as rutin, quercitin, and kaempferol glycosides (powerful antioxidants). Helps reduce inflammation and the risk of cancer.

Fiddleheads: Provides vitamin A and C, fiber, iron, potassium, niacin, riboflavin, magnesium, and phosphorous. Helps eye health.

Mustard Greens: Provides high content of vitamins K, A, and C, beta-carotene, B6, folic acid, magnesium, and calcium. Helps fight free radicals, supports cardiovascular system, bones, and menopause symptoms.

Peas: Provides fiber, folic acid, vitamins C, K, A, calcium, iron, copper, zinc, and manganese. Helps with inflammation, cholesterol, bone health, Alzheimer's, skin, eyes, and oral cancers.

Radishes: Provides vitamin C and potassium. Works as an antioxidant and anti-inflammatory, and helps with kidney and blood health.

Other spring vegetables include: arugula (rocket), beets, carrots, chard, garlic, green onion, leeks, new potatoes, and turnips.

Fresh Spring Pasta

1 lb. pasta
1 lb. asparagus with bitter ends removed
1 pint cherry tomatoes
3 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon fresh garlic, minced
Salt to taste

1. Cook pasta and set aside. I prefer to use thin spaghetti. Any variety will do.
2. Roast, grill, or steam the asparagus until tender but firm. Once cooled, cut into 2"-3" pieces. Set aside.
3. Add 2-3 tablespoons of EVOO to a sauté pan over medium heat and add the minced garlic. Do not brown.
4. Immediately add the cherry tomatoes and salt, and cook until tender (the skin will start to pucker). You may even want some to burst.
5. Plate pasta and add asparagus and the tomatoes, garlic and oil over top.
6. Toss and serve. May be served warm or at room temperature.

Note: You may wish to add more oil and/or garlic to taste.

More recipes to enjoy...

Steamed Spring Vegetable with Garlic-Herb Aioli, Fresh Pea and Ricotta Tartines with Spring Vegetables, Roasted Spring Vegetables, and more here.
 
Photo: Jean Gazis

It's the Quiet Ones You Have to Look Out For

Our family of five consists of three extroverts and two introverts. If David, Michael, and Kate start a conversation, Amanda and I just kind of melt into the background. Actually, we usually leave the room, because the noise is deafening. Don't get me wrong, we can get right in there and hold our own, but we have a threshold. Those three must have a word count they're trying to reach. We like quiet, calm, peace, and we especially need our alone time. 

Poor David came home the other night and I think I might have said five words to the poor guy. I was spent. I had been writing all day long having conversations in my head with my characters, I didn't have any more to give. I know he sort of understands, but sometimes I don't even understand. I hadn't talked much at all that day, what was up?

I'm in the process of reading the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. As you open up the cover, she lists her Manifesto for Introverts. It's such validation. Here are my favorites...

1. There's a word for "people who are in their heads too much": thinkers.
2. Sometimes it helps to be a pretend extrovert. There will always be time for quiet later.
3. It's OK to cross the street to avoid making small talk. 
4. "Quiet leadership" is not an oxymoron.

I've been researching the subject for a while now and I've found a lot of interesting information that has really allowed me to finally feel like I'm okay, normal even. Being an introvert was/is seen as a negative, when in fact, it's actually a positive. Everyone wants to be listened to, and that's what we do best. 

I mentioned that Amanda and I are indeed introverts, when in fact, I've always thought of us as "extroverted introverts". We do like our quiet, but when when we're passionate about something, you can't shut us up. So we may actually be Ambiverts. This person is generally happy to meet new people but might be still uncomfortable if they weren't with at least one other person they knew. On the other hand, that same person would talk your ear off if a topic of interest was to present itself in the same situation. These are some of the characteristics of an Ambivert. (After watching a movie last week, it was decided that I was definitely Divergent, but David would be Factionless. I'll let you look that one up.)

These illustrations, by artist Maureen Wilson, tap right into the core of what being an introvert is like. Among her doodles is a link to an article that suggests that being an introvert may actually be hardwired. Hmmm. As the daughter of two extroverts, I'm thinking it might have skipped a generation. As I look closely at my family tree, I can see a mix of extroverts, introverts, and ambiverts very clearly. So if it doesn't actually skip a generation, it certainly is selective. 

I often ask myself, perhaps because my parents were such extroverts—they were always throwing parties, inviting people over for dinner, going out on the town—I would naturally go the other way. In fact, my sister is the same way. We'd rather spend the night in than face the struggle of going out. I guess we got our fill during our childhood. 

So, what do you think you are?

P.S. 22 Things Only Introverts Understand and Introvert, Shy, Social Anxiety: What's the Difference?

How to Get Things Clean - Part II

Because you can never have too many ways to keep things clean, I thought I'd just keep going after posting Part I last week. I can be a little crazy when it comes to cleaning, so bear with me if this becomes on on-going post. Remember, cleaning is my therapy.

In my kitchen, I have a travel bucket stored under the sink. It's basically a two-sided plastic bin with a handle that I can carry to and from each room and it contains the essentials. Here's my list in no particular order:

• Old sponges. After I'm done with a dish sponge, I toss it in the dishwasher and then it turns into a cleaning sponge. (I'm told you can microwave the sponge on high for 2 minutes and it'll do the same thing.)
• Old toothbrushes (and new ones). Once we've retired our toothbrushes, I toss them in the dishwasher as well and they become mini scrubbers that are excellent at cleaning grout and all sorts of nooks and crannies.
• Old dish clothes. Again... You get the drill by now. I use these to polish and clean. Once I'm done, it's back to the washing machine they go. Ditto for old socks. Stick them on your hand a dust away blinds and other hard to reach surfaces.
• Magic Erasers. They work miracles everywhere.
• The before mentioned rubbing alcohol and peroxide. 
• Lemon oil for polishing wood.

How to make your own cleaners:

• All-purpose  - 1 teaspoon dish soap to 4 cups of water.
• Disinfectant - 1 part rubbing alcohol to 1 part water. I use it straight as well. Test surface before doing this. 
• Glass - 1 part vinegar to 1 part water. Use newspaper instead of a cloth and you won't get streaks.
• Natural goo gone - 1 park coconut oil to 1 part baking soda. 
• More natural cleaning product recipes can be found here.

Miscellaneous tips for the crazed cleaner.

• Lemons and salt work well to scrub the bottoms of pans and the inside of a stainless steel sink. Just mix equal parts together and scrub.
• Use baking soda to clean your mattress. Sprinkle it on and let sit for about 15 minutest, then vacuum. (And more ways to use baking soda here.)
• To clean a nasty microwave, place a bowl of water inside and turn it on high for 1-2 minutes. The steam will loosen any grime so all you'll need to use is soap and water.
• Use baking soda and dish detergent to clean ceramic stove tops. Sprinkle baking soda over the surface then cover it in a detergent soaked cloth. Leave for 30 minutes and then rub the paste into the grime. Wipe down with a clean washcloth and polish with rubbing alcohol.

How often should you clean?

That's really up to you, of course, but to keep things looking clean and feeling clean, I recommend daily, weekly, and monthly and/or seasonal cleaning. If you stay ahead of it, it won't seem like such a big job. I wipe down surfaces daily with soap and water or rubbing alcohol. I dust once a week. I vacuum 2-3 times a week. I wash sheets once a week and towels as needed. I would like to say I wash the windows more often than I do, but this falls into the seasonal category for most windows, otherwise it's once a month. Maybe you'd like to follow this schedule.

I can go from casual cleaning to warrior mode in a snap. One time I started to wipe down the front of the refrigerator and two hours later my fridge was deep cleaned inside and out. For me, it's all about keeping the house healthy for me and my family. 

Stay tuned...

Photo: Sabrina M

How to Get Things Clean - Part I

I'm always trying to find ways to use everyday products in new ways when I'm cleaning up the house. Two of my favorite cleaners are rubbing alcohol (it disinfects, polishes, and shines in a snap) and peroxide (test first, but it takes out almost any stain I've tried to get out). They're both great for spot cleaning the carpet when little paws and feet have left behind muddy foot prints.

These tips are not brand-name specific, so please feel free to try homemade versions or organic.

Baby Wipes - Use these to clean carpets (again, test the area first) clean salt off of boots, use as make-up remover, clean off sandy feet (I use baby powder myself), dust houseplants, clean electronics (be careful if the wipe is over saturated), dust the floor (use in place of a Swiffer), and remove white marks left behind by deodorant.

Dryer Sheets - I never toss these... They help capture lint easily from the dryer lint trap, I run them across the floor to pick up pet hair (in place of a Swiffer sheet), degrease the top of the stove, deodorize trash cans (keep one in the bottom of the laundry basket and on the shelves of your linen closet too), removes iron residue, soap scum on tubs, and keeps bugs at bay (rub them across tent or screen netting).

Baking Soda - You already know this one, but use it as a natural odor neutralizer in the refrigerator, cabinets, and on carpets etc. Use 3-1 (baking soda and water) to clean silver and counter surfaces, and scrub walls with a sprinkle of baking soda applied to a damp sponge. You can even get Fido clean if he doesn't like the tub. Sprinkle enough to coat his fur lightly avoiding the face entirely (ears are okay). Gently rub and let the baking soda absorb into the coat for a few minutes. Gently brush away excess.

Bonus: To remove dog hair, and I have a lot, use a squeegee to remove hair from large surfaces. Rubber gloves also work. And I use dampened wash towels to remove the rest.

Photo: Amanda Tipton

The Benefits of Coffee

I gave up drinking caffeinated coffee three years ago. My over-stimulated nervous system didn't need any more stimulation. Luckily, I never went through any withdrawals because I only drank about a cup or so each morning. However, I do love the taste of coffee, so when I go out for breakfast or a treat, I'll order decaf.

My husband, on the other hand, can't even function without at least two cups every morning. He's come a long way from guzzling his 6 jumbo-sized-coffee-laden-with-sugar habit when I met him.

Caffeine, like so many other chemicals, is a drug that you can live without. But you have to weigh the pros and cons of caffeine consumption with the natural benefits coffee can provide. Caffeine—as we all know—gives you that boost of energy, but it also may help you stay sharp. It is loaded with antioxidants and beneficial nutrients (vitamins B2, B3, B5, magnesium, manganese, and potassium) that can improve your health.

Studies have shown that coffee may actually help reduce your risk of cancer, including prostate, liver, and skin cancers, as well as lessening the effects of depression by up to 20%. "Drinking a few cups of coffee a day could lower the risk of developing Parkinson's disease by as much as 25 percent, according to a study published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease." 

"Coffee may be protective against type 2 diabetes. Researchers at UCLA identified that drinking coffee increases plasma levels of the protein sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG controls the biological activity of the body's sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) which play a role in the development of type 2 diabetes."

"Researchers at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC) and Harvard School of Public Health, concluded that drinking coffee in moderation protects against heart failure. They defined 'in moderation' as 2 European cups (equivalent to two 8-ounce American servings) per day."

So... for those of you who can handle the jitters, coffee, in moderation, may be a good thing after all.

P.S. You may also like My Favorite Starbucks and Natural Beauty.

Exercising for a Cause

It's almost that time of year again... The 16th annual Edaville Rail Run will be held on Saturday, November 14th and I'd love if you could make it. Not only will you be supporting the Dorine Merritt Memorial Fund, you'll be treated to beautiful scenery, delicious food, and a nice brisk walk/run through picturesque cranberry bogs. It's always a good day to get out there and do good—for yourself and the town of Carver. 

I'll be the one in the food tent replenishing my brother-in-law's hot Quahog Chowder and keeping things running smoothly so you can enjoy some delicious goodies after the race. It's a family affair that we all gather for each year. Grab your family and make it a tradition, too!

(Held at Edaville USA, you'll be treated to half-price tickets after the race!)

Coloring Books Reduces Stress

Have you noticed all of the coloring books in book stores these days? And these are not just your ordinary coloring books; they're coloring books for adults. I came across this display and thumbed through all of the different styles and designs. They range from whimsical drawings of children, animals, music, and architecture to nature scenes. My favorites happen to include intricate drawings of patterns and geometric shapes. Some are even filled with symbols used in Hinduism and Buddhism for spiritual focus and meditation. 

It turns out that they are actually used to help adults de-stress. And there's a bit of science to back it up. The actual process of coloring generates a feeling of wellness, quiet and calm. At the same time, it also stimulates the brain areas related to motor skills and creativity. By combining the two, we trigger relaxation by lowering the activity of our brain that controls emotions affected by stress. It's basic distraction 101. We focus on the activity and not our worries.... with the added benefit of conjuring up fond childhood memories and using our imagination in ways we probably laid to rest long ago.

Coloring inside the lines has never been more popular.This growing trend extends beyond our borders as European countries and beyond have caught hold of this not-so-new phenomenon. Art therapy is a well-known therapeutic technique. "The creative process of making art to improve a person's physical, mental, and emotional well-being, can help manage behaviors and feelings, reduce stress, and improve self-esteem and awareness."* So, it's little wonder that if we pick up a colored pencil and begin to create on any level, we'll feel better just by choosing the colors we draw with.

Color Me Happy and Color Me Calm, have sold out in each of the five printings since their release. It's not too early to think about holiday presents. Put these at the top of your list!

*Arttherapyblog.com